How to come to terms with an empty nest
1 October 2025By Dr Dominique Thompson, Mental health expert & former GP at Buzz Consulting
This year, hundreds of thousands of students have started university here in the UK. With that comes a lot of parents and guardians having to say goodbye, as their young person leaves home – often for the first time.
It’s natural for parents and guardians to feel at a loss when this happens – even a sense of grief.
In fact, according to a recent study of 1,000 UK parents who dropped their child off at university this autumn - 83% said it caused them extreme grief to do so.
It was a strange experience dropping Anwen off - I felt a combination of emotions - excitement, curiosity, fear, sadness, worry and dread. I cried a little on the way home.
Back at home and going into her empty bedroom - I felt a sense of real loss... of emptiness. There is a loneliness without her in the house.
Angharad, from Swansea who dropped her daughter of at UWE Bristol in September 2025
My top 10 tips: coming to terms with an empty nest
Find a new purpose. Having a new reason to get up every day is vital for wellbeing and provides structure and meaning. So, why not help a neighbour, or even get a pet or plant to nurture?
Establish new routines. Loss of routine and daily structure can throw you off. So, establish routines that makes you feel good, such as a peaceful morning coffee or an evening walk will help ground you and reduce anxiety.
Address sensory loss. You may miss their voice, their smell, even their movement around the home. Photos can remind you of happy times, while a bottle of their scent or aftershave can trigger sensory memories. It’s normal to miss their presence, so wean yourself off gradually.
Address other issues. Rather than making life-changing decisions in throes of empty nest sadness, use time to sort things out. Talk to people you trust, take time to ponder options and decide when you’re ready.
Give it time. If the loss of their presence feels like a bereavement, remember it takes time to adjust and recover. However, as with grief, it happens in small steps, and you might need support to get there.
Focus on you. Take time to address health issues, tackle weight loss, increase fitness, investigate a hobby, or learn something new.
Avoid loneliness. Actively plan to spend time with your family, friends or partner. Make sure you see or speak to someone every day if you need company.
Stay in touch. Pre-arrange how often you’ll speak to your child, and plan when you’ll see them next. For anything in between these times, set up a WhatsApp group for pictures and banter.
Don’t make them feel guilty. Let them know how they’re missed instead. Send a picture of their empty room with a joke about how tidy it is, rather than a crying face emoji! They’ll know you miss them but want to feel reassured that you’re coping.
Ask for help. If you’re still struggling after four to six weeks, try not to overburden your child with worries. Talk to your support network and ask your GP for help. You’re not alone – help is out there.
I am so happy she is pursuing her dream of becoming an architect, but she’s left a big hole in our lives. I can’t help feeling very sad that I won’t see her as much. I keep telling myself - this is her life, her time to grow up and just have a great time. I am already looking forward to seeing her again. I haven’t ruled out driving up to Reading just to take her out to lunch!
Steven, a father of two who dropped his youngest child, Martha, off at Reading university this year
Unite Students: We’ve got your back
For more than 30 years, we’ve watched thousands of parents and guardians wave goodbye to their young person at the start of a new academic year. During this time, we’ve learnt a thing or two about providing the right tools and guidance.
If your young person has flown the nest this year, it’s normal to have lots of questions and concerns. That’s why we’re here to provide you with the reassurance and support that you - and they - need at this time of transition and change.
We’re keeping your young person’s home safe
Our properties are only accessible with a secure fob or card system, and every student room has its own individual lock. We have CCTV in every property and an overnight Student Safety team in each property, there to welcome them home and respond to incidents.
We’ll support your young person through their studies
We’ll be there if they need us. Each city has several welfare leads who are trained listeners and can signpost students to resources of support. Resident Ambassadors are also there to help students to settle in and meet friends.
We’re available to help 24/7
Our Contact Centre is open 24 hours a day 365 days a year. You or your young person can get in touch at any time.
We’ll always follow up on any concerns raised.
If things are tough, residents can get help at the touch of a button through the Unite Students app – or they can access our Support for You resources, including FAQs and contact details.
Our student app helps your young person stay connected
Flat chats on our Unite Students app allows our residents to write bios that tell their flatmates who they are before they start chatting. Chats have safeguarding features to prevent abuse of the messaging function. The app also offers Property Communities, so residents can stay up-to-date on the latest events and alerts in their building.
Advice, tips and recommendations from Resident Ambassadors and neighbouring are only ever a message away.
To download the App, search Unite Students in your app store or visit Unite Students app.
Resources
Looking for some more help and advice on how to manage your empty nest? We've collated the best resources available for you to explore.
Websites
Student Minds Support for Parents: dedicated to advice for parents, carers and guardians to help them prepare for when their child goes to university. Such as, support available at university/ wider community, providing support from a distance, difficulties in university/ student accommodation.
Growing a Grown Up: helping parents 'navigate more confidently the challenges of raising your young person in an ever-changing world'. Shares resources and also points parents to Dr. Dominique's blogs to further grow parents knowledge of how to support their child through starting university.
Save the Student Parents' guide to uni 2025: a guide to parents that have children that are going to university. Guide includes - is university worth it, applying to university, key dates, how student finance works, accommodation at university and preparing for employment.
Books
‘How to Grow a Grown Up’ by Dominique Thompson and Fabienne Vailes. This book gives advice for parents who have teens that may be struggling with exam pressure, a young adult who hasn’t settled into university or curious parents who wonders what lies ahead for their child.
‘The Empty Nest: Your Changing Family, Your New Direction’ by Celia Dodd. This book validates this feeling by presenting case studies documenting a wide range of experiences of parents living through an empty nest, expert comments and advice with plenty of practical ideas, inspiration and tips.
Communities
Gingerbread: a community for single parents in England and Wales to get together and support each other. You can join your local group or chat and meet up online.
The Growing a Grown Up Facebook Group: private free group for anyone who want to understand today's teens and young adults to support them through this period of their lives
